Southern Style Collard Greens

With the dawn of every new year, there are some constants: fireworks, midnight kisses, watching the ball drop and heaps of collard greens. What? You don’t look forward to New Years Day JUST so that you can pile your plate with greens and eat them until you pass out?? Okay, so I guess that’s just me. Down South, we have a tradition: New Years Day= pork, blackeyed peas and collard greens. The blackeyed peas are supposed to represent luck and the greens represent money for your new year. The pork just represents pork being tasty. I look forward to this meal every year, even though it takes a bazillion hours to make because it’s amazing. I didn’t make it myself last year since I was on bed rest, but my mom did make it for me. Yay for moms!

Since it has come to my attention that there are a lot of people out there who think that they don’t like collard greens, I thought it would be fun to teach one and all how to make awesome Southern greens. I promise, if you think you don’t like them, you just haven’t eaten them cooked the RIGHT way. A lot of restaurants around here serve them, and, well, they’re not so good. It’s because they’re too bitter- they don’t know the secret: getting rid of the stalk and parboiling. My dad makes the best freaking collard greens on the planet, and he taught me how to do them, just like his mom taught him. And they’re darn good, y’all.