Payment is predicted in full. No refunds. Failure to comply may result in an outstanding balance being sent to collections (Chris will hear about it).
Looking forward to your prompt payment!
My jaw hit the floor.
It would’ve been bad enough if he’d predicted monetary compensation, but charging me with required affection and attention? Who does that?
I screenshot the invoice immediately and sent it to Mia. Her response was rapid.
“OH. MY. GOD. I’M SHOWING THIS TO CHRIS RIGHT NOW.”
“Is this real life???” I typed back. “He’s serious about this!”
“Wait till Chris sees this. He’s going to LOSE IT,” she answered.
Five minutes later, my phone rang.
It was Chris, and he was bawling with laughter.
“Kelly, I can’t believe this,” he answered. “I’ve known this dude for years and never, not once, did I think he’d pull something this insane.”
“So, this isn’t a joke?” I asked.
“No way,” Chris replied. “Eric’s always been a bit… intense about dating, but this is next level. Okay, we need to get back at this dude.”
Chris was the mastermind of next-level pettiness.
Instead of just roasting Eric in their group chat, he planned to take it up a notch.
“I’m making an identical invoice,” he announced. “Same formatting, fake legal tone, ridiculous charges, the works.”
Service Invoice – Amount Due: A Lifetime of Silence
Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman: 1 permanent block on all platforms
Convincing Her You Were a Gentleman: A deep, personal reflection on why you’re single
Letting You Sit at the Same Table as Her: A formal apology to all women you’ve dated before
Not Exposing You to the Entire Internet: A generous gift you should be grateful for
Payment is due IMMEDIATELY. Failure to comply may result in public humiliation. Cheers!
“This is perfect,” I texted him. “Send it!”
“Forwarded!” He replied a moment later.
CONTINUE READING ON THE NEXT PAGE 🥰💕
